I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
