Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
false alarm. still invincible.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
