Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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