I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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