watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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