she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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