And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
