Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize