I just threw up on my dentist
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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