just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
