you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
