Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
