I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I still have a little drunk in my system
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
