Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
