I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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