My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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