He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
