What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
