dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
