He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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