so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
