Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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