i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
