There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
barbara walters just said penis...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
