There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
