3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize