So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize