We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A+ Viking dick
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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