remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
