oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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