I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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