Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
