Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
