So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
