I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
