I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
