The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
