it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
