Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
