Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
