He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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