You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As shirtless as possible
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
