Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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