Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
