Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize