"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
