I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
