i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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