she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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