If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize