I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
