I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so explain again why im purple
no
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
