Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
