okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize