Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
