why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
