So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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