yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
