Will you blow on my dice?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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